Leaving can be the most dangerous moment. It's also when help matters most.
People ask why survivors stay. Usually it's money, housing, and fear: the abuser controls the bank account, there's nowhere to go, and leaving can make the danger worse. Most survivors leave more than once before they leave for good.
Updated October 2026. Every figure links to its source below.
The odds
women (34%) and 1 in 6 men (17%) have been sexually assaulted, physically hurt, or stalked by a partner1
of survivors seeking housing help had faced economic abuse in the past six months2
406 survivors, Washington State
were already homeless when they asked for help2
shelter residents in one study had left and gone back at least once3
90 shelter residents, 2002
higher odds of being killed when a woman leaves a highly controlling abuser4
requests for help went unmet in a single day; 58% were for housing or shelter5
What changes the odds
Advocacy, safe housing, and a little money at the right moment work. Survivors with an advocate were twice as likely to stay violence-free, and nearly all who got a small grant for rent or a car repair were still housed six months later.
They need a safety plan first, a safe place to stay, money of their own, and people who never ask why they didn't leave sooner. RISEaid walks with people through it: they do the work, and we connect them with the resources to get there.
Need help yourself? Call or text 888-860-RISE. In an emergency call 911; for a mental health crisis call or text 988.
Questions people ask
Why do domestic violence victims go back?
Money, housing, and fear are the most common reasons. In a 2022 federal evaluation, 89% of survivors seeking housing help had faced economic abuse and 42% were already homeless. In one shelter study, two in three had left and returned at least once.
Is leaving an abuser dangerous?
It can be. A study of femicide risk factors found about nine times higher odds of being killed when a woman left a highly controlling abuser. Safety planning with an advocate should come first.
What helps survivors stay safe?
Shelter and advocacy: 92% of shelter residents in an eight-state study learned more ways to plan for safety, and in a randomized trial twice as many women with an advocate stayed violence-free for two years.
Sources
Figures were read on each source in October 2026. Where data is older, preliminary, from one state, or from a small study, the figure says so.
- 1.CDC National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. 2023/2024 Intimate Partner Violence Data Brief
- 2.U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (Chen & Sullivan, 2022). Domestic Violence Housing First Demonstration Evaluation: Findings through 24 Months
- 3.Journal of Interpersonal Violence (Griffing et al., 2002). Domestic Violence Survivors' Self-Identified Reasons for Returning to Abusive Relationships
- 4.American Journal of Public Health (Campbell et al., 2003). Risk Factors for Femicide in Abusive Relationships
- 5.National Network to End Domestic Violence. 20th Annual Domestic Violence Counts Report (census day Sept. 10, 2025)
- 6.National Institute of Justice (Lyon, Lane & Menard, 2008). Meeting Survivors' Needs: A Multi-State Study of Domestic Violence Shelter Experiences
- 7.Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (Sullivan & Bybee, 1999). Reducing Violence Using Community-Based Advocacy for Women With Abusive Partners
- 8.Journal of Interpersonal Violence (Sullivan, Bomsta & Hacskaylo, 2019). Flexible Funding as a Promising Strategy to Prevent Homelessness for Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence